It really feels like what I wrote yesterday was prophetic in a way. While my wife was gone to feed horses, haul firewood, and have "adult conversation" (see yesterday for the actual definition of this); I was stuck at home with my nine year old son. Now Legend of Zelda's been around for years and years. I remember playing it as a ten year old kid and going nuts when I finally beat Ganon. Yet.....memories are different than current reality.
Nine Year Old Son (hereafter called Son, because well, he is my son) is addicted to these games. When he's not playing them, he's watching walkthroughs on Youtube done by a guy called Chugga A. Conroy. On my computer. So now whenever I log into youtube, I get a ton of video suggestions based on walkthroughs and Mr Conroy as well as my own suggestions, which tend towards comedy, idiocy, music videos, and movie trailers.
Now I wasn't going to talk more about video games, but I ended up doing that anyways. What I really wanted to talk about was kid conversation. For example:
Son: Dad, what does a dog smell like?
Me: A dog.
Son: NNNRNT (annoying buzzing sound meaning wrong answer, or that he's constipated. Not sure.) Incorrect answer! (Wow! I was partially right! It meant wrong answer!)
Me: A dog smells like a dog.
Son: A dog smells like DOG FOOD.
Me: No, it smells like a dog.
Son: Well her breath smells like Dog Food at least. (Yes, he actually talks in complete, and mostly grammar correct sentences, unlike his old man.)
Me: Maybe it's because she just ate.
Son: What's a chicken smell like?
Me: A chicken.
Son: NNNRNT! (Again I had a choice, negative or constipated) Wrong answer! (Darn! I was wrong this time! The face he made......) Care to try again?
Me: Barnyard! Farm! (At this point I was beginning to lose it. A chicken smells like a chicken darnit!)
Son: NNNNRNT!
Me: *sighs*
Son: Want to know what Chicken smells like?
Me: *facepalm* Okay son, what does chicken smell like?
Son: DINNER!
This is just one particular conversation out of many that we had yesterday. It's most memorable because as we had this particular piece of words, I was attempting to finish the dishes which had stacked up due to me being on strike until I learned that well, being on strike doesn't work with my wife.
She has more patience than I do. And a louder yell. And a shrill voice when upset.
But I love my wife, she's been a rock in my life for over a decade now. Yet there's one thing that my wife (here after known as my wife) struggles with constantly: Technology and losing things.
Recently my wife lost her wallet, which had her ID and other stuff in it. When I say recently, I mean in the last 60 days. It was an amusing time during which we tore apart our house looking for it. Then I put it back together to have it torn apart again because I didn't put it back together right. Finally, a couple days ago, it was discovered hiding in a friends apartment, where I believed it to be all the time. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)
Other things lost that I have found: Her glasses. (at least in the triple digits), The Cell Phone (Heading to triple digits), Money (I don't tell her I found it, I just keep it until she raids my wallet). Clothing items (being married has exposed me to the wonderful world of womens undergarments, and the fact that they enjoy hiding from the women that are wearing them), and our Son.
But losing things doesn't amount to a hill a beans in comparison to my wife's worst foe: TECHNOLOGY!
(to be continued.....if she doesn't make me remove it)
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